Mom of a 4-month-old refuses to babysit her 32-year-old sister's 2-year-old, even though she's a stay-at-home mom: 'Normally, our mom watches my niece while my sister works.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Jul 11, 2026 12:30 PM EDT

She needs to hire a babysitter or take her kid to daycare, because her sister is the mom of a newborn, and can't handle looking after a 2-year-old who cries all the time and wakes the baby up.

Some kids are a joy to babysit, and others are an absolute nightmare. If a parent constantly has to beg everyone in their family to babysit their kids, chances are it's not because everyone in the family is heartless and doesn't want to help out. It's much more likely that the kid is not particularly pleasant to babysit, and if that's the case, there's a good chance their parents aren't a joy either. 

Good parents can raise badly behaved kids, especially when they're toddlers. Toddlers are often mean and nasty, but if a child continues to misbehave like a toddler by the time he's 6 or 7, there's a better chance that his bad behavior stems from the kind of parenting he's receiving at home. 

Most family members and friends would babysit a kid they didn't particularly care for if there was an actual emergency and their parents couldn't watch them. But that depends on someone's definition of "emergency." If a parent doesn't want to pay a babysitter because they're too cheap and want their family to watch their badly behaved kid for free, that is not an emergency. 

The little girl in this story is not a bad kid, at least not yet. She is still in the "Terrible Twos" and cannot regulate her emotions. Unfortunately, that doesn't pair well with her newborn cousin, who is distressed by the sounds of screaming and crying. 

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  • Young mom holds her 4-month-old baby, staying at home while her husband is at work.
    via Daiga Ellaby (Unsplash+)

    Young mom holds her 4-month-old baby, staying at home while her husband is at work.

    The photo uses models to depict the situation. 

  • Am I the bad guy for refusing to babysit my niece just because I’m a stay-at-home mom?

    I 23F have a 4-month-old baby who is currently teething. She's been extra fussy, wants to be held constantly, isn't sleeping well, and honestly just needs a lot of my
    via u/Adept-Assistant6370
  • attention right now. My sister 32F has a 2 year old. Normally, our mom watches my niece while my sister works because she works remotely, but my mom is out of town for a week.
    via u/Adept-Assistant6370
  • Mom hikes while on vacation, leaving her unable to care for her toddler granddaughter during the workday.
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Mom hikes while on vacation, leaving her unable to care for her toddler granddaughter during the workday. 

    The woman in the picture is an actor. 

  • My sister asked me to watch my niece while she's working. I told her I could probably help for an hour or two a day if she really needed it, but I couldn't commit to
    via u/Adept-Assistant6370
  • watching her all day every day. She got angry and basically acted like I should be available because I'm primarily a SAHM, and I only do around 10 hours of side work a week.
    via u/Adept-Assistant6370
  • Before I had my baby, I helped my sister a lot. I babysat for hours at a time, did overnights, and was happy to help whenever I could. But things are different now
    via u/Adept-Assistant6370
  • it's really difficult to watch both of them. I've done it before to give my mom a break when she has important meetings but that's typically for an hour or two max.
    via u/Adept-Assistant6370
  • On top of that, my niece is in the middle of the terrible twos. She also has a speech delay, so when she's frustrated or wants something she can't communicate, she screams. it's not her fault
    via u/Adept-Assistant6370
  • The toddler cries and screams to communicate her needs because she can't speak.
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The toddler cries and screams to communicate her needs because she can't speak.

    The image is a representation. 

  • but the screaming wakes up and upsets my baby, who is already having a rough time. My niece also doesn't really like being at my house, so she's usually unhappy the whole time
    via u/Adept-Assistant6370
  • she's here, which makes everything even harder. Now my sister is upset with me and making me feel guilty, but I honestly don't know if I'm being unreasonable here. I feel
    via u/Adept-Assistant6370
  • like I'm setting a necessary boundary because I can't safely and reasonably care for both kids all week, but I also know my sister is in a tough spot and I've helped her a lot before.
    via u/Adept-Assistant6370
  • Regular_Boot_3540 NTA. It's your time and your energy, so you get to decide how to expend it. Your sister is acting entitled.
    via u/Regular_Boot_3540
  • Good-Good-3004 NTA Your sister needs to take leave from work or find other arrangements. Her kid, her problem. Most parents find themselves in this position from time to time
    via u/Good-Good-3004
  • 1962Michael This is a good point. Your sister has been lucky to have your mom for daycare, and you as a backup. She needs to have a Plan C. Drop-in daycare, a paid babysitter, or taking time off.
    via u/1962Michael
  • Office Desk906 Why is the sister the one that has to take leave. Where is the child's father?
    via u/Office_Desk906
  • Adept-Assistant6370 OP he works also. they have a very tumultuous relationship. my sister is often moving in and out of his house because they're on and off. she has an apartment my parents have been paying for she jumps back and forth to, which just causes more tension in their relationship.
    via u/Adept-Assistant6370
  • giantbrownguy NTA, but your comment back to her needs to be “I understand you need support but I am also a new mom dealing with a baby with their own issues. I cannot prioritize Niece at the expense of my own kid's needs. I'd love to help you but you need to look for a different solution. Just because I'm home doesn't mean I'm free." She may be stressed but I can't imagine your mom's trip came as a surprise. She failed to plan and is trying to make it your issue.
    via u/giantbrownguy
  • CaptainMalForever NTA You are never obligated to watch other people's children. Especially not for free.
    via u/CaptainMalForever
  • ClutterKitty NTA but don't be surprised when she doesn't want to go out of her way for you either. Everyone wants a village, but nobody wants to be a villager. And that's how you end up in the same position, needing help, and not being able to find it.
    via u/ClutterKitty

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